Doing the Dishes
by romanticidiot
Summary: Slash. SiriusRemus. How much fun can doing the dishes be? Well, try adding some hot water, a sneaky Sirius and a few Queen songs and see what you discover ... One-shot


DISCLAIMER: They ain't mine/Struggles against handcuffs/ I never said they were! I swear! It was Marty the Mouth!

DISCLAIMER TWO: And about the songs, no, they're not mine either, honest! They belong to the wonderful Queen. Not me. I hain't never said they was mine.

WARNING: Yes, slashness ahead. I was feeling rebellious because my Mum thinks homosexuality is unnatural and said I would be unnatural if I was gay so I wrote this. Also to spite John Howard who last year changed the marriage legislation to say 'man and woman' to get rid of the loophole same sex couples were using to get married. I dislike homophobes very much, so stay away if you are one, or I shall come and cry on your doorstep for hurting me.

0000

The Dishes 

_**By**_

_**LizzY Tears **_

Remus, Sirius decided absently, really shouldn't be allowed to do the dishes.

It wasn't that Sirius had a problem with Remus _doing the dishes_ per se – it meant Sirius didn't have to do them – it was more that Remus persisted in doing them in _that_ manner.

Sirius had watched guiltily, hiding behind a couch in the hope of sneaking up on him, as his flatmate had slinked carefully down the stairs, glancing around him as though he was expecting hexes to be thrown at him. A relieved, somewhat guilty look had crept onto his face as he moved with alacrity towards the muggle record player he had insisted on buying but Sirius had hardly seen him use.

Remus had continued to glance around nervously, like he suspected he was being watched. His suspicions, however, had not stopped him carefully selecting an album from the well stacked collection, his long, elegant fingers hovering over the square shapes.

Selecting one, he reached his index finger forward and pulled one out, removing it from anonymity. He smiled contentedly and slid the round disk from the case, placing it gently on the turntable and letting the needle drop down.

It scratched for a moment before the first few chords of an unknown but catchy rhythm burst from the speakers. Remus smiled again in fond recognition and turned away, humming as he rolled up his sleeves and started towards the mess in the kitchen.

To Sirius, doing the dishes – doing any housework really – was a completely pointless exercise. You could clean and clean and clean, with all the diligence in the world, but within a few days the place would be a mess again. Sirius frankly couldn't see the point, but Remus almost appeared to _enjoy_ the ritual, and Sirius was just beginning to see why.

Remus rarely played his music.

Sirius knew he loved it, but he never shared it.

Sometimes when Lily and James were visiting – and usually after a number of Butterbeers – he would slip something quiet and swingy into the player and then he would usually zone out of the conversation and sit lazily with that content smile on his face.

But that wasn't what was happening right now.

Instead of slipping into a stupor, Remus was standing at the sink, carefully turning the taps to create the perfect temperature for the werewolf's sensitive hands, and … Sirius was highly surprised to find that Remus appeared to be dancing.

Which was absolutely ridiculous because Remus never danced.

Ever.

Even on formal occasions when it was compulsory, it took the threat of rule breaking to get him out on the floor and even then he didn't do much more than propriety dictated.

He certainly did not move around with this much spirit, this much enthusiasm. The energy appeared to veritably _burst_ out of Remus and Sirius wondered where he had kept it all these years.

He was having problems breathing as he watched dazedly while Remus swayed enthusiastically at the kitchen bench. His hips swung dizzyingly from side to side and he bounced agilely on his toes, bobbing to the music.

He was singing now, too. Badly, yes, but Sirius didn't mind, caught up in the moment of witnessing Remus so unguarded. It was very rare that Remus relaxed enough to let his barriers down and Sirius felt almost honoured to have seen it.

He conveniently forgot that Remus had not exactly given him permission to watch it and was not even aware of his presence.

Remus was dancing even more vigorously now, even more caught up in the music. His eyes were closed and his movements were even more erratic. He appeared to have lost control completely and was splashing water madly over the floor and the benches and himself.

Oh yeah! See what you've done to me

_Back chat back chat  
_

_It's driving me insane  
_

_Survival to the end  
_

_Knock you down you come again_

The water was getting on Remus' clothes now, and Sirius was beginning to find it a rather large problem as the moisture was forcing Remus' robes to stick quite tightly to his torso.

Eventually Remus gave up all illusions of washing up and let himself go in the middle of the kitchen.

Arms flew, hips swung, hair was flung in all directions and a slim body gyrated madly.

Sirius was having problems keeping a hold on his actions when tones faded out and the song ended. Sirius thought he was safe, but he almost groaned when a funky new song came on.

Remus didn't appear to be quite as involved in this song, however, and returned to his dishes.

Sirius discovered, much to his chagrin, that this didn't appear to be true as Remus altered his heated, passionate movements to something more controlled and sedate.

But no less sexy.

The slow movements of Remus' hips as he swung from side to side was making Sirius' head spin. His mouth was dry and he had a suspicion his jaw was hanging open.

Get down, make love

_You take my body  
_

_I give you heat  
_

_You say you hungry  
_

_I give you meat_

The funky song ended and Sirius thought that finally the sweet torture would have to be over.

But no …

It started out so well 

_They said we made a perfect pair_

This song seemed to mean something special to Remus, because he stopped washing and gazed out the window, water dribbling down the edge of the bench.

I clothed myself in your glory and your love 

_How I love you _

_How I cried_

The years of care and loyalty

_Were nothing but a sham it seems  
_

_The years belie we lived a lie  
_

_I love you till I die_

Sirius watched transfixed as Remus' posture altered subtly and he lost himself again. In a different way, this time.

Before it was as though he was reacting to the music, now he seemed to find some meaning in the lyrics.

Save me, save me, save me! 

_I can't face this life alone!_

_Save me, save me, save me!_

_I'm naked and I'm far from home …_

Before Sirius could think what had happened, he had slipped across the room towards the kitchen. He didn't now what he intended to do when he got there, but he felt that was where he needed to be.

Hesitating, he carefully slid his arms around Remus' waist. He winced at Remus' violent reaction – jumping and pulling away – but didn't let him go.

Eventually Remus relaxed against him and Sirius took in the softness of his hair, the wet water under his feet and the damp robes underneath his hands.

Most of all he took in Remus.

Remus, who was still lost in the music, who was swaying irresistibly in Sirius' grasp and who was listening to Queen while doing the dishes.

The slate will soon be clear 

_We'll erase a memory …_

… I hang my head and I advertise

_A soul for sale or rent  
_

_I have no heart I'm cold inside  
_

_I have no real intent_

The song faded as the others had and Remus tried again to pull away. Sirius held to him steadfastly, somehow knowing that if he let Remus go now he would miss his opportunity.

Again, Remus tensed and then relaxed at Sirius' insistence.

"Sirius –." He began, attempting to turn around in his grasp. This time, Sirius gave him some leeway. "Sorry you had to see that." The sopping wet werewolf said sheepishly.

Sirius's jaw dropped in shock.

"Sorry?" He repeated incredulously. "That was amazing! That was beautiful … you're beautiful."

Remus blushed at this and dropped his gaze. He tried to shuffle out of Sirius' grasp, but Sirius granted no quarter.

"Don't say things like that." Remus whispered. "Not unless you mean them."

"I do." Sirius said quietly and then lost control over his actions altogether.

Leaning forward, he pressed his lips to Remus', questing gently. He noticed with some satisfaction that his friend eagerly tilted his head back to allow Sirius entrance. Remus' arms slipped up around Sirius' neck and pulled him closer, fire igniting between their bodies.

They broke away eventually, and Remus didn't open his eyes for a moment. When he did, he was confronted with a piercing grey gaze.

"Please tell me you meant that." Remus pleaded.

"I did and I do." Sirius assured him and kissed him again.

He pushed Remus backwards and then laughed into his mouth as water slopped over the side again, drenching them both.

"You didn't finish the dishes." He commented and Remus laughed.

"Not my fault. The record ended. I can't work without music."

Sirius pouted.

"So it had nothing to do with my distraction?"

"Oh, I'm sure you were distracted." Remus grinned.

"I meant me distracting you." Sirius said haughtily.

"Okay." Remus conceded, pulling Sirius' head down. "Maybe I was a little distracted."

AUTHOR'S NOTE

Okay, I know that's not my best work and it was only written because I myself was prancing around the house listening to Queen and doing the dishes this afternoon and thought everyone needed to know how fun it is. And because it's Friday night and I needed to post a fanfic. So now I've used lots of 'ands' and I'm going to go to bed because it's really late.

Thanks to all who reviewed 'So … kiss me.' I am aware how hard it was to read; the dialogue fics I've read were even worse, but the idea just came out so I posted. Thanks all!

LizzY :D


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